I have been building my photography business somewhere around 6-7 years, and up until this year, last month, I never really had a mission statement, a vision, a purpose behind why I was doing the things I was doing. Never really had a “why”. I have had a few people within the creative industry ask me what my “why” or my vision or what my goals were and I’m going to be totally honest. I didn’t know how to answer that. I was just going with the flow, doing what I thought I should be doing to be a successful photographer, looking at what other photographers were doing, I felt like I was just running this race that I had no clear view of where I was even running to? Which led to my season of burnout. I’m not going to go into too much detail about that because I don’t need to. It’s not important. What is important though is what happened to me this year. The year that completely striped everything away from basically everyone. The year that gave everyone a moment to actually catch our breath. That threw a huge, brick wall in our path that caused us to halt. To pause. And made us take a look around and determine what is actually important to us.
I don’t want this post to sound like every other photographer’s bio page of how much they love capturing moments for people. Because yes that is 1000% true and I love doing that, but it’s so much deeper than that. If someone asks me why I’m a photographer, I could easily just say “I love it!” Okay…. but why?
We just very recently had a death in the family that we are currently still mourning over. One of the very first thoughts I had after hearing the awful news is to go home and gather all of the photos of them that we have in the house. Why is that? That once we lose someone special to us, we all want to cling to the images that we have of them. Because that is the only thing we have left. And that is why photographs are so powerful and so important to me.
But stepping away from the idea that photographs are only powerful and special to us because of when loved ones pass. It is also important because when our LIVES pass, we have photographs that showcase that we in fact, LIVED. We have experiences that will forever change us, we have connections with people that will play a role in the type of person we are today, we have vacations and trips and birthdays and holidays and celebrations and pets and first cars and high school proms and pool days and movie nights and every single moment of our lives that add up. It all adds up to what our lives actually are and what it looked like. We have our memories in our brain of these things, but not all of them, right? How many times did someone ask you “ohhhh you remember that day that *this happened* “ , and you don’t remember? Or let me ask you this. Have you ever been shown a photograph or you stumbled across a post on your daily Facebook Memories and this photo instantly brings you back to that day, that moment? All of your memory from this particular day has left your brain for so long but because there is a photo of it, that memory comes back to you. How powerful is that.
Our brains are in a constant state of overload every single day. Especially in 2020 of all of the information being thrown at us. The constant need to be on social media every moment of every day just in case we missed the newest update on our feeds of the people we don’t even spend time with in person, but we have this urge to see everything they need to share. We have our own demands that pull our attention away. We have families that need our love and nurturing. We have appointments to keep track of, remembering to send out that birthday card on time, deadlines at work to stay on top of, I literally could go on and on of all the things that our minds are always trying to store. When all of these basic to do’s and reminders are being stored in our brains, there isn’t much room left for storing the sweet memories of our lives. So I don’t blame any one of us for not remembering the entire timeline of our lives. But I am blaming you if you aren’t documenting it along the way. Your memory will continue to fade, but photographs stay forever. And we have the most powerful role to play in our lives and that is being in control of deciding which moment stays.
“Life goes on and this moment is gone and that moment is gone. But photography steps in and says:
Not this one. This moment stays.”
- Mary Marantz
Let me ask you this- October is creeping up on us very quickly, and how often have you said the last few months “Man this year is really flying by!” I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that we only have around 3 more months left of this year, when it just feels like yesterday that we were just hearing about COVID on the news and that it was starting to spread in the US, it was February, I was celebrating my golden birthday, and the world was flipped upside down. That seems like it just happened, and now here we are almost at the end of the year. How many times do you feel like the days are flying by, the months are flying by, and you feel as if nothing really happened? It’s just going by so fast before your eyes you don’t even have time to catch your breath? This is an exercise that I like to do at the end of every month. I will reflect on the last 29-31ish days by looking back through my journal entries, and…. looking through my camera roll on my phone. I am constantly taking photos of the everyday joys that happen throughout every week. Photos of Zoey laying in whatever spot in the house she was relaxing in, the flowers I picked from our garden, something I baked that day, a snapshot of what coffee mug I’m sipping out of, a photo of our view on our daily walk, the sweet note that Brian left me on my desk to see that morning. Is someone celebrating a birthday? You better believe there's photos of that in there too, and the people that were with us, what the cake looked like, the festivities. We are now jumping head first into the Fall season so of course, I’m taking photos of the decor I set up for this year. And the same thing goes for every holiday and season that has passed so far. All of the little things, THEY ALL MATTER. They all add up. The little joys in our everyday make up our months, our years, our lives. I can’t say it enough how much all of those things MATTER. So when I am doing my monthly reflecting, I see all of these big and small moments that happened and I think, wow! A lot of things really did happen this month and I felt like it just flew on by in the blink of an eye. Taking photos helps us STOP while life is moving at ten thousand miles an hour, it freezes a moment. And we tell this moment that it gets to stay with us.
Were you ever in a situation where your home was at risk of either a fire, a flood, a tornado coming through, any disaster like that? Hopefully you say no to that because that’s just horrible. But let me tell you something. We have had a few scares here just this past summer that the tornado sirens were going off in our little country town, the news was saying to seek shelter, and before I went down into the basement, you know what I grabbed? My flash drives with all of my personal digital photos on them, and the photo albums I have sitting on our bookshelf in the living room. Can you relate to this situation? Why is it that when there is a disaster happening, we cling to the thought of making sure our precious photos and albums are safe. Why? Because that is all we have that showcases our journey of our lives up until that moment. The precious memories that were documented, the photographs of loved ones that are no longer with us, these are so incredibly special to us.
A few weekends ago, I was at my Mom’s house as we sat on her front porch - for 7 HOURS - as we flipped through photo album after photo album, looking at images of her as a baby, a toddler, growing up as a teenager, her dating years. Most of which were taken with the camera that is in my hand in this cover photo! And this was the very first time I had seen any of these pictures. I was blown away that these all existed and I had no idea. I have BOXES and boxes of photos of my own childhood thanks to her that are some of my most cherished things in my house. I have proof that I lived a playful, vibrant, loving childhood and I have photos to look at and see that when I don’t remember it myself because I was a tiny kid. Now that I am far away from my childhood, you can only imagine the amount of things I can remember from back then. But having these images brings me the biggest amount of joy.
Now being able to see my MOTHER’S childhood when I wasn’t even alive, or a thought in her mind yet, THAT is powerful. As we were flipping through the albums, I wanted to know the story behind every image. Who each person was in the photo. And being able to see actual pictures of what her couches and home decor looked like back then, the style of clothes everyone wore, the BIG HAIR, the toys that she had and something that really got me was seeing the family dogs. And the cats that she had. It was the everyday things and moments that were so cool to see. Now, she could have told me stories about her childhood, and she probably did, but being able to see an image of what that actually looked like- I just can’t even explain how much that pulls at my heartstrings.
Photographs are SO important. In the moment, you might not think to take a photo or document something that is happening, but one day you will either wish you had that photo, or be beyond thankful you have that small piece of photo paper in your hand. That moment is able to live on, because you gave it the power to.
I have this job and responsibility that I feel like was unknowingly handed down to me from my Mom, to continue documenting the story of my life. She has literally instilled in me this idea and power that we get to document our days and our lives the way that we want to. Just like we are the ones in control of our own lives, how we live, the lifestyles we have, the people we are around- we are also in control of documenting the story of it, too.
So coming back to tie all of this together in a nice, pretty bow- here is my why. My “why” for being a photographer, a documenter, a story teller, is so I have an actual thing to hold on to, memories I can actually hold in my hands, to show my own kids someday, and for myself to look back on and reflect on the journey of my life. To have this legacy. I am such a big sentimental person and I love reflecting and reminiscing, but documenting is a huge and sometimes only reason I am able to look back and remember certain things. To tell the true, full story of a memory, even when I am not here anymore to tell that story myself.
How does this play into my career I’ve created for myself over the last 6-7 years? I hope that my gift of being a documenter, a photographer and storyteller inspires others around me to also do the same for their lives. OR- I can be that person for them. For their families. For their friends. For their children! If they don’t feel called to capture their lives, I can be that person for them and provide them with the photographs that I take. I truly believe that every single person has a gift and we are supposed to bless other people around us with our gifts. It would be selfish of us to keep this gift only for ourselves.
So if you have been following my photography journey since the beginning, I’m giving you a HUGE air hug and I can’t tell you how much I love and am grateful for your support. I have learned so much about myself, my personal being, and myself as a photographer. I am beyond excited to be working on some projects very soon that I am so passionate about and that perfectly aligns with my “why”. That gives me purpose. That makes me feel fulfilled. And isn’t that what your “why” should do?
